1. |
Pariah Carey
03:14
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I'll either leave this town as a pariah,
Or stay and lose the respect of all my closest friends.
I know I've made excuses for a while. I'm not denying that.
I'm just adjusting to my body getting tired and slow.
These old cycles feel like rope over rafters.
I'm climbing the chair but I'm untying it though.
Two shaky feet on the ground.
One foot in front of the other, right?
I haven't danced in a while
I'm not sure if I remember how to do it.
Just put your foot to the ground on the downbeat.
And do it over and over again
Until the rope falls slack from the ceiling.
This tangled pile on the floor, from this angle
Looks small and soft and helpless
So I'll wrap it up, lock it up in a box in a drawer with the others. Keep it secret, keep it safe.
But hold your applause.
I've buried that thing a thousand times that I forgot about
But with time & some gauze & a tourniquet
It always finds its way back to the ceiling so tonight I'm fucking burning it.
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2. |
26 Caroline
03:12
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I'll still be here holding down the fort
when the odd/even parking starts.
When the plows and
the salt trucks go on call.
When the sun gets evicted
every day around six
like it can't pay the rent like me
Or it just can't stay in this city
'cause it saw us in August,
the way we spent all of our time and our money and it just got embarrassing.
Or maybe it just moved someplace warmer
and a little less bitter
like California.
I hear it's nice there.
So, can I crash on your couch
when I come out to find that absent, fiery turncoat bastard?
It owes me a lot for the damages
of five months every year
starved of serotonin,
Left alone to freeze.
If the sun pays up
I'm buying plane tickets home
from San Diego, Minnesota and Taijong.
I'll meet you at the airport with my brother when you land,
and I swear to god
I'm buying Rick a minivan
then we'll break into Caroline
with a case of dollar twenty-twos
and a stereo
with a mixtape of the songs that we'll all know till we die.
When's the last time we did that?
I know we're getting older,
getting married,
living continents apart,
But this graffiti ridden basement
doesn't care how old we are.
We all know goddamn well
It was a pretty bad band name
but to hell if it's not still true.
My Kindred Spirits forever
All of you.
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3. |
Why You So Short?
03:23
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Dear Davina,
Why are you so nice to me?
You know I would’ve understood
if you just hung out
with your friends
and you never said Hi to me.
I really would've been fine.
Dear Davina,
you know you're taller than I am
but you still took me in a circle by the hand
for the girls ask the boys skate
and we talked about snakes
and said you thought I was cool.
Hey Davina, I'm having a pretty rough seventh grade.
Everyone’s so much meaner
than when we all used to play
on the Green Machine.
Someone called me a loser
but I didn't even know that
we were playing a game
and almost everyone in class
forgot my birthday
except for you Davina. Thanks.
Dear davina, you make my heart go
Ba-da-ba-ba-bada-ba
Because you talk to me
like my best friends
Ryan and Sam do.
You're taller than I am
and you think that's funny
and so do I.
I'm glad I met a friend like you
when I did.
It means a lot Davina.
Dear Davina,
Have a really great summer....
Wait, scratch that out...
I really hope you meet someone
who's as nice as you.
I hope they make you smile
when you don't even wanna.
I'm a little bit shy
and a little bit scared
that I'm already broken.
Davina, you reminded me I'm okay.
So thanks.
Sincerely.
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4. |
Monday Song
02:26
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Paint me with my blemishes
I want to know if they're as bad as I assume.
For the shading: take some water, muddle pills in from the bottle in my bedroom.
Just get the likeness right because I'm gonna try and sell it when you're done
then take some time get my head right and commission you for another one
that'll show that I've been drinking less and I'm working on getting my lungs pink again. That I'm saving up to leave and I've been eating and breathing better.
'Cause every self portrait I've made is either far too grey or it looks like someone else.
If I don't find a new kind of paint
I don't think I'll recognize myself.
Every self portrait I've made is either far too grey or it looks like someone else
if I don't make some kind of change I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.
I guess the glory days didn't age so well, and this gallery has never payed so I'm selling everything
and starting with a canvas whitewash clean.
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5. |
Symbiosis Midwest
04:24
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Hold your breath
until you can't hold
your breath anymore
then tell me we're not animals
like the blood in our veins makes you special.
Like the channels from our eyes to our brains don't all shut down when we can't breathe
Like what fills your lungs is better
Like the dust you'll become is any different than what's in everything.
I saw us all in the vulture nourished with carrion.
The small dead parts of an old life
become the wings that'll carry 'em.
You should've seen us
running in packs last Saturday
To a soundtrack of cicada songs
and the rattle of modern machinery.
Pride-less lions biting necks
in the name of Aslan
for a spot in eternity
But that's just called
missing out on eternity.
You've just gotta wake up
and hang out
with your really big fucking family.
Oh, our breath.
All our breath.
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